EPAPHRODITUS

EULOGY FOR A FRIEND

“The Savior’s Blood and Righteousness- My Beauty is my glorious dress- Thus well arrayed I need not fear- When in his presence I appear”  - Zinzendorf

 Whenever I ran into to Dewitt Rhoades, we always had the same exchange of greetings.  Out of habit I would say:  “Dewitt, how are you doing?”,  and he would respond:  “I couldn’t be better unless I was a Collins”

Well…I know today…..I couldn’t be better unless I was a “Rhoades”.  It is my honor to speak to you about my friend Dewitt.

“Death Where is Thy Sting?  Grave, Where is Thy Victory” writes the Apostle Paul.  I don’t know about you but when a good friend dies, I don’t feel very victorious, and I sure do feel the sting of death.  But I am comforted by the observation of Holocaust survivor, Corrie Ten Boom who said:  “I have learned to hold important things in my life loosely, because it hurts so when the Lord pries them from my tightly clenched fist”

That is how we held Dewitt….and in truth how he held each of us.  I really believe that he became a friend to each and every person he met.   And each of us here today feels the pain of the Lord ripping him from our tightly clenched fist.

Some years ago, I listened to a sermon by Dr. Mark Corts on a character of the Bible about whom I knew very little.   He had a funny name.  Epaphroditus.   He is mentioned twice in Paul’s letter to the Church at Phillipi.  Evidently he was sent by the church to assist Paul while he was in prison in Rome.  Paul describes him as my brother, my fellow worker, my comrade in arms.

That is how I describe Dewitt.

He is my brother in Christ, my fellow worker in His Kingdom, my faithful friend and my comrade in arms.

He wore so many hats in this community.  He was stalwart member of this church serving where needed, from the choir, to the boards, to the Sunday School class.  But his most important role was his presence in the lives of others.  One person responding to a Facebook post about his passing said:  “Dewitt was like a second father to me growing up in church…he was always a support to the Church family…a real father to his children” 

He was a boy scout leader….member of various civic clubs….on many boards, commissions and positions of public responsibility….all non-paying, unelected jobs, always far from the public spotlight….I served with Dewitt for 5 of his 38 years as Trustee at Forsyth Technical Community College…his commitment to the mission of that school was a lifelong passion….the number of people he touched both directly and indirectly can never be measured but the community has been enriched by his presence and the Kingdom of God has been enlarged by his witness.

He was one of the best neighbors anyone could have.  He raised a garden and would be seen taking bags of his vegetables to friends and neighbors throughout Kernersville.  He never lost touch with his friends, often calling them whenever he had not seen them in a while, just to check on them.   A Facebook commentator remembered:  “He used to call me at least once a year just to see how I was doing.”   Robert Joyce who is as yellow dog Democrat as Dewitt Rhoades was Red dog Republican told me he spoke to Dewitt just last month.  Robert who is homebound with an illness served with Dewitt on the FTCC board.  “He just called to check on me last month, and we talked for an hour about old times”

That’s how I met him.  When I came to town in 1982, taking a job with John Wolfe, Dewitt was one of the first people I met.  He supplied us office supplies.  But he was a frequent visitor, more often than required to service our account.  While visiting, he would talk politics with John, and Church business with Sylvia Kiger.  And we got to know each other…and soon I found people coming to see me because Dewitt told them to. 

As a friend to many, he was a person that could be trusted for advice.  Another Facebook commentator said of him: “DeWitt was a friend and mentor in many ways to me. I will miss him and his advice and counsel”…another said:  “Always looked forward to talking & sharing with him… you could count on his solid advice. There will be a void!”Another friend commented:  “He was a most congenial and sincere friend…He knew how to get the job done” 

Winston-Salem Mayor Allen Joines commented:  “What a great man…he will be greatly missed”   Former Clemmons Mayor and State Representative, Bill McGee noted: “Dewitt was a true Patriot, served his Country and Community with grace. I will always appreciate his counsel and support.” 

He was a man of even temper, open conversation and deep humility.  He met Presidents, voted twice in the Electoral College.  He counseled elected officials from city council to United States Senate as easily as he would talk to a neighbor. As Kipling would say, ‘He was a man who could talk with crowds and keep his virtue or walk with Kings and not lose the common touch”

Christ commanded us….”Let your light shine before men….that seeing your good works…they will praise your father in heaven”  Legendary Coach Joe Erhmann observes….”To be a man, you have to see man”   What we saw in Dewitt Rhoades was a man of God whose good works proclaimed his Father in Heaven every day.  We are better to have known him, the community is better to have had him in our midst.

But for me…and perhaps for you, Dewitt Rhoades was my Epaphroditus.

He was what Dr. Corts described as an “encourager”. You see the greatest gift any person can give to another is the gift of believing in yourself because the other person believes in you.   Any success that I have achieved and any success that you have achieved at some point can be traced to the time when a person simply said in word or deed:  “I believe in you”   Dewitt did that for me….I know he did that for his family.  He did that for his country, his community and this Church.  And I believe most everyone here today can remember a time that he did that for you.

Dewitt served in the flight crew of a B-29 bomber during the Korean War.  He flew 26 missions in a plane named “No Sweat”.   When I asked him of this unusual name, he responded:  “No Sweat”   To which I inquired:  “What do you mean?”   He continued:  “We always took the most difficult missions.  We never complained.  We were always prepared.  We believed in ourselves and each other. We refused to quit. We embraced the challenge.  ‘No Sweat’”

Dr. Corts concluded his sermon on Epaphroditus with a rhetorical question.  “Why do geese honk when they fly?”   He answered his question by describing how scientists who studied the flight of geese had determined that they fly in a precise geometric formation that enables them to cross longest distances most efficiently.   That the lead goose in a flight is in the most difficult position and when this goose tires, another goose will take its place.  And that throughout the flight every goose in the flock will honk except the one in the lead position.

Geese naturally provide to each other what Epaphroditus gave to the Apostle Paul…..encouragement

To understand Dewitt, you must only look at his upbringing in rural Wilkes County and combine that with his time flying dangerous missions over North Korea.   He was an encourager.  It was an attribute developed by experience.

He was our Epaphroditus.

How shall we remember Dewitt?  Consider the observation of Frederick Buechner:

“When you remember me, it means you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.” 

I don’t know about you but I don’t speak “goose”.   But the next time I see a flock of geese flying overhead and hear them honk….I am not going to try to figure out what they are saying.  Instead, I will recall the voice of Dewitt Rhoades….and hear him say:  “No Sweat….No Sweat”  That is how I will remember my friend.

Jesus proclaims that as we mourn, we are blessed with courage and comfort.  And so may it be with each of you.  

Hallelujah

Amen