LESSON SEVEN - LOVE:
Another Reality Check!
Simon, son of Jonas, Do You Love Me more than these?
Jn. 21
I grew up in the first television generation. While I can remember the days when there was no cable television, I have always watched television. Accordingly, when I think about how things were, whether reading a story, or listening to account of another, my brain considers what it hears and transmits a television image. Therefore, when I read the wonderful stories of the Bible, I see the stories from a Cecil B. DeMille or Francis Ford Coppola point of view. My favorite character in the New Testament has to be Peter. In my mind's eye, he looks like a bearded Anthony Quinn, strong and tough, but with gentleness beneath his rough exterior. Peter as you know always wore his emotions on his sleeve. He did not always speak his mind, but his heart. He fiercely loved Jesus, but was often held back by human frailties of faith. Yet, in spite of his human deficiencies, he experienced the full gamut of emotions in his walk with Jesus. His faith allowed him to overcome the fear of nature's storm to walk on water with his Jesus, but his cowardice allowed fear to compel him to deny Him as his Lord. The very church in which we worship was founded upon faith such as developed in this simple fisherman. What an emotional roller coaster he was on. What a compelling figure he is. It is with my favorite story of Peter that I have chosen to end this chapter on the Christian Love.
The story is found in John 21: 1-22. It is as if the old apostle had finished his gospel and then remembered a meaningful story he had to tell, so he stuck in at the end of the book. Because of its location, you may never have really looked at it in detail. It is a simple tale of night fishing on the Sea of Galilee . It occurs at a time between the resurrection and the ascension. The disciples have not quite recovered from the miraculous event of meeting with a risen Lord, and have yet to begin their evangelism. Most were fishermen, so they decide to go fishing, and who should appear, but Jesus! (A clever preacher could make an hour-long sermon on the fact that you just never know when and where you will encounter your Lord-I will settle with a parenthetical reference)
Peter, who is fishing in a loincloth, realizes that it is Jesus on the shore, and does two things just as you would expect of Peter. He impulsively jumps in the water to swim to meet Jesus leaving his other disciples to haul in the fish; but, before he jumps in the water he puts on his coat. (When I taught this lesson I pointed out rather scholarly that it was a Jewish custom not to greet religious leaders naked - in response a member of the class pointed out rather astutely this was also custom in the Moravian Church
“Simon, son of Jonas, do you love me more than these?” Jesus said, (perhaps standing, with waving gesture toward the other disciples). The question no doubt would have startled Peter. For in the past Peter would have led with his heart and immediately declared his allegiance for his Lord. Instead, Peter, still bearing the emotional scars of his infamous denial, simply responded, no doubt with a bit of distress in his voice: “Lord, you know I love you.” “Then feed my lambs”, commanded Jesus. Again, Jesus looked at Peter and inquired: “Simon, son of Jonas, do you love me?” More distressed, but still wary of speaking his heart, Peter replied: “Lord, you know I love you.” “Then, be a shepherd to my sheep,” commanded Jesus. A third time, Jesus looked into the eyes of Peter, and asked, “Simon, son of Jonas, Do you love me?” Most translations say that the question vexed or deeply hurt Peter. Such a description of the emotional state of Peter is perhaps an understatement. Peter no doubt replayed the whole distressing story of his denial vividly in his mind. He probably could even hear the rooster crow. Nevertheless, he stood firm, and probably looked Jesus in the eye, and replied submissively, but in strength of character borne of a life of trial: “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you!” “Then feed my sheep”, says Jesus. “Follow me!” He commanded, as He got up and began to walk away. Peter followed, and in a few steps, he turned and pointed to John, and said, “Lord, what about him?” In a tone sharper than used previously, Jesus retorted, “Peter, what business is that of yours, if it is my wish for him to stay until I come again, so be it. As for you, you follow me!”
How does all this pertain to the attribute of love? At the first of the lessons, we looked at the three love commands of Jesus: Love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength; Love your neighbor as yourself; Love each other as Christ loved you. Let us perform a reality check. If Jesus would suddenly appear at a time and in a place when you least expect, look you in the eye and asked: “My child, do you love me?” How would you react? What would be your reply?
If you have learned anything in this lesson, you know that love is not a cheaply purchased commodity. It is a thoughtful, committed decision to give of yourself to your beloved. It does not depend upon outside stimuli and is a self creating phenomenon. “Christian Love does not mean an emotion. It is a state of will which we have naturally about ourselves, but must learn to have about other people.” (Mere Christianity, p.100) According to Paul, we are called to present ourselves “as a living sacrifice, consecrated to Him and acceptable by Him.”(Rom. 12:1) When King David came to Ornah's threshing floor at a time when he wanted to make a sacrifice unto God, Ornah gave King David an appropriate unblemished lamb. When King David offered to pay, Ornah refused; to which King David replied: “I shall not sacrifice unto my God that which costs me nothing.” (II Sam. 24) What have you given unto your Lord? He asks only for love.
Remember Dr. Covey's response to the man whose marriage had lost the loving feeling? “Love her,” Dr. Covey instructed, and then explained, “Reactive people make love an emotion, we are required to make love a value.” As a Christian, you are required to subordinate your feelings to values. If you are not sure if you love God, or if you don't feel like loving God, try to love anyway; if for no other reason than He has commanded you to. Consider the wisdom of C. S. Lewis:
Nobody can always have devout feelings, and even if we could, feelings are not what God principally cares about. Christian Love, either towards God or towards man, is an affair of the will. If we are trying to do His will we are obeying the commandment “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God.” He will give us feelings of love if He pleases. We cannot create them for ourselves, and we must not demand them as a right. But the feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him.
Mere Christianity, p. 102-103.
The second love command is that we love our neighbors as ourselves. Loving others is a lot like loving God. We are not required to have feelings of affection for those whom we love, we are only required to love them. C. S. Lewis continues his observations:
The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you “Love” your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him . . . The difference between a Christian and a worldly man is not that the worldly man has only affections or “likings” and the Christian has only “love”. The worldly man treats certain people kindly because he “likes” them: the Christian, trying to treat everyone kindly, finds himself liking more and more people as he goes on - including people he could not even have imagined himself liking at the beginning. Mere Christianity, p.102
The third love command is that we love each other as Christ loved us. Jesus loved selflessly. Can you? Jesus loved sacrificially. Can you? Jesus loved with understanding. Can you? Jesus loved with forgiveness. Can you?
Most of us do not consciously know how to love. We often stumble upon love, but few decide to give of ourselves to anything. We live in an illusion that love feelings are all we need to get by. The truth is though, that I seldom have love feelings about God, but I am commanded to love Him anyway. I never have love feelings for those who make my life a misery, but I am commanded to love my enemies. Love feelings are nice, but, they are not necessary for Christians. For a Christian, deciding to love is a required response to life itself. When you decide to love, you consciously accept the risks associated with your actions. In fact, you choose to give of yourself in a manner that may be quite contrary to your instincts. If this bothers you, consider that Paul learned that if “you cut the nerve of your instinctive actions by obeying the Spirit, you are on the way to real living.”(Rom. 8:13 )
If you find that loving God is difficult, rest assured that your labors are worth it. If you find that loving your neighbor as you love yourself is not easy, especially at those times when you do not like yourself, love anyway! Life will gain new meaning from your effort. If the standard Christ has set for loving each other is too exacting, remember Jesus' command to Peter. “What business is it to you . . . You must follow me!”
If following Jesus requires us to subordinate our feelings to His values, we must act as He has commanded, and have faith that the Creator of all things understands how it is best for us to live. If His way of living seems too difficult, we need only to remember the words of Thomas Paine:
That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only, which gives everything its value. Heaven knows how to put a price on its goods.
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